When you “should” do something and don’t the coping mechanisms can get pretty convoluted. Many people believe their children should take music lessons. Sometimes the kids even agree. They sign up for band, find a private teacher and schedule lessons (not cheap!) and reality arrives. Like the puppy that “I’ll take care of and feed and clean up after every day. Really!” The kid doesn’t practice and it’s time to go to the lesson unprepared.
Some parents send their child off to face the music. They passively enlist the teacher in helping form the discipline. Others see the conflict the child has and calls on their behalf to cancel lessons, since soccer practice is more important. [no comment] Sometimes they’re unaware of the child’s responsibility and lack of follow through. The kid “forgets” and takes an empty case to the lesson. Or makes a feeble excuse about sickness.
In the worst of all cases some parents collude with their children and lie to the teacher. Consider this case where a “mother called to inform me that he had broken his left thumb and had an appointment with a doctor; he would be unable to use that hand for six weeks.” The teacher replied with condolences and suggested he could still come to lessons. There were many elements of music theory that needed learning. He would do better to come and learn those elements rather than lapsing for six weeks. The mother agreed.
Three days later teacher is at a coffee shop and sees mother and son. She goes over to ask how he’s doing.
Unbelievable. Mom is colluding and prompting her son to lie about going to church and being cured through prayer. I tried to believe that son lied to mom and mom is making the kid repeat the lie until he decides to fess up as a lesson in the effects of lying. I tried. But a broken thumb, a doctor visit and mom on the phone all add up to mom actively participating.
The story … I start to type “disgusts” or “nauseates” or another repulsed synonym and they all ring as too weak. There’s too much subtext in invoking God to lie. In a parent prompting a child to repeat such a story.
Update: reading through the comments following the story I find this bit from the teacher:
Reading comment streams for a story can be very rewarding. I found out broken thumb boy missed half of his lessons in the following months and then quit altogether.
The real reward in following the comments was this story:
People write …